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when I am a parent I am going to celebrate my kid’s birthday a day earlier each progressive year instead of the same day every year until they figure it out and ask me what is going on and I will say the year is disintegrating and time isn’t real trust your heart and love will triumph over calendars

Video Game:  You know, if you're having trouble, feel free to lower the difficulty settin--
Me:  Go fuck yourself.


i cant believe they named an entire dog breed after pitbull